In Work and Play

September 2015. It's fair to say that work and play are very much intertwined in my world. Some of my biggest life moments have been shared with my colleagues. Hugs and personal notes are at the heart of my job description. And it's a rare day if I'm not thinking about work 20 hours a day. Yes, even in dreams (or in the case of waking up last Tuesday thinking I was flying to India, nightmares). Yet it still comes as a surprise when I realize I'm not practicing what I preach, in my own life.

June 2011. After college, it was a shock to my system not to have hours of physical activity each day. I needed something simple and cheap to stay in shape, and running was it! With road races gaining popularity, I jumped on the bandwagon. Having learned in college that endurance, not speed, is my forte, I signed up for my first 10k in October 2011--the longest distance I'd ever run. From there, I gave myself a year to work up to a full marathon. Quickly, I came to define achievement by how many miles I logged. 

During work trips, we support local teams to manage a child-focused camp program, and we share a four-part model, sometimes referred to as the 'TR model.'  Standing for therapeutic recreation, the TR model is an on-going cycle of challenge>success>reflection>discovery, used to intentionally frame an activity. To give independence and control to the child, we emphasize 'challenge by choice,' which most simply means the child chooses his/her level and type of challenge or activity, based on his/her goals and comfort levels.

About three months ago, I signed up to run the New Haven Road Race and fundraise for Girls on the Run, a youth development program for young girls. Presented with the choice of either the 20k or 5k, I signed up for the 20k and was excited to build out my training program. I even wanted to try a new 4-day per week running schedule, so I did! My fundraising goal had a minimum of $250, which I felt was feasible, and I had the option of increasing my goal. Choices made. Challenges accepted.

The second part of the TR model is success. When training camp staff, we explain that being focused on the child means giving the child the opportunity to define success on his/her own terms. And if a specific goal was set and not met, child-focused means staying focused on the child (not the goal) and helping him/her see where success did occur. Goals change, and with that, so does success.

Nine days before race day, I found myself on a run with a nagging tightness in my right foot and no confidence in my body to run a 20k. First thought--get over it, run the 20k, deal with the discomfort. The other option is the 5k, and that distance is not a enough of a personal challenge. Sun rises again and I'm out for a late afternoon run. On Edgehill Road, about 3 miles from home, I check my watch:  26 minutes. Hmm, another challenge is born. If I can do a training run in 26 minutes, why can't I clock 23 in a race? Choice made. New challenge accepted. Success redefined.

One of my favorite 'pep-talk' quotes is from Steve Prefontaine, former Oregon duck, American record-holder and Olympic runner:  'I run best when I run free.' Thanks to the good 'ol TR model, I'll be running free this weekend. Free of a challenge I'm not comfortable with, and free from defining my success merely by distance. I suppose it's not always a bad thing that work is on my mind...

Listen and see the beauty of the world around you

Good things happen when you listen. 

Over the past couple weeks, I have had the pleasure of listening to two story-telling seven year olds, a comical culinary-lover from West Haven, an enthusiastic Cambodian entrepreneur and a rediscovered local musician. 

On the MTA train to New York, there was an excitable group of two families, six children. Eavesdropping on their playful banter, I overheard one of the older boys say to another, 'Are we going to go south, all the way to Mexico and then South America?' After giving much thought to his own contribution, the other boy says, 'all the way to ancient Egypt. I hope I don't die. I'll be like 20 thousand billion years old by the time we get to ancient Egypt.' Listen and be inspired by imagination, to tell a captivating story.

In the car en route to the airport, my friendly driver immediately struck up conversation. Some days I have zero interest in conversing but this time there was too much excitement in this man's voice to ignore. He had stopped at a local eatery and was commenting on the delicious side dishes he ordered. From there he dove straight into his culinary feats--shrimp gumbo, potato crisp-dipped sole, and a reaaaal good steak, so good that it's 'how he gets the ladies.'  Listen, acquire new recipes and let someone's enthusiasm brighten your day.

While in the lobby of my hotel on my third day in Phnom Penh, I was chatting with the owner. Recently back from the US after living in New York and DC for a combined 11 years, he had opened the hotel only 6 months ago, in January. A former diplomat working for the UN, he wanted to come home to his family and test his knowledge and experience in a new field. We laughed about the intense, high-strung style of NYC and shared our love for warm climates--his, Cambodia; mine, not winter. Listen and connect with the people you meet.

A rare occasion for me, I pulled up the lyrics of a song as I was listening to spotify. The song was by Chadwick Stokes, a member of the former band Dispatch. He has a single titled 'New Haven' and the familiarity of that city name caught my attention, as did the lyrics. Listen and let a song carry you 'home.'

Next time you're in line rushing to get your morning cup of coffee, listen. Next time you're walking or taking public transit, take out the earbuds and listen. Or, put in the earbuds and listen :) Next time you're on skype catching up with a friend, listen. Next time you're on the phone with your mother, listen. 

And enjoy.

When the slaps of my Sauconies match the ukulele strums of Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow,' I can't deny it.

I've felt out of sorts lately. We all have those days, weeks, months...

In trying to work myself out of the funk, the word 'harmony' kept crossing my mind. I'm lacking harmony. Nothing feels right. Back and forth, an imaginary aerial banner. Harmony. But what is it? It's one of those words that is better defined by feelings than by words. Before becoming obsessive about it, I decided to let it be and promised myself to just make a mental note whenever I felt good on the inside. 

Days and weeks passed. Sleep. Coffee. Phone calls. Reports. Family time. Runs. Skype calls. Spreadsheets. Dinners. Errands. Netflix. Magazines. Emails. I took note.

A general goal of mine is to not be defined by one thing; one activity, one perspective, one moment. And I definitely don't want to come across as someone who is intimidating or puts pressure on others. So I try not to talk about or encourage running too much...

As the days and weeks passed, there were many mental notes on days I caught up with friends and family, and on running days. But for the reasons listed above, I disregarded running and forged ahead to find that harmony!

We all have those people in our lives who frequently know us better than we know ourselves. Well, one of 'those' people recently reminded me that running makes both of us healthier, happier, more productive and positive. True.

It is hard to deny a proven fact. And the fact is, running makes me feel good inside. When I'm up early, in the zone with reggae beats in my ears, or running alongside a good pal, I'm at peace. Head, heart, arms, legs all feel like one machine. Running is where I find my harmony.

Just this morning, I was at the Girls on the Run 5K in Hamden, a celebration of a team of girls, coaches, and their 3 month season together. The 5K is an achievement for every girl and every running buddy, no matter what. Maybe all 100 girls and running buddies will continue running and add miles and miles to their legs. Or maybe some will wake up tomorrow morning, proud of their accomplishment and ready to return to their hockey team, go to their cello lesson, read the latest J.K. Rowling book, take their dog for a walk, or find a new hobby. Girls on the Run is not about running. It's about empowering and helping each other find our own harmony. It's about being different, together.

And running isn't about moving my legs quickly. It's about setting and working towards a continuous goal. It's about celebrating the little and big achievements. Its about clearing the excess thoughts that clutter my mind. Its about smiling. It's about being at peace. It's about feeling happy. It's about discovering my harmony, over and over again.

So I guess running doesn't define me by one thing...

How do boats steady themselves in changing currents?

Inspiration grabs hold of your emotions and makes a deep connection. Maybe it leads to motivation. Or maybe it's a simple gift of mindfulness or happiness. 

Over the last few months, I've been inspired by two dear friends. Their natural talent to sculpt fragments of daily life into linguistic masterpieces has left me laughing out loud, tingling with joy and then shaking my head in amazement. Together, they have given me the gifts of mindfulness and happiness. They also have impeccable timing...

Change has been on my mind lately--why it's a struggle and how to embrace it. If you've ever been around me during a transition--like starting kindergarten, losing nine straight basketball games in college, or simply altering the daily routine that I am so.very.content with--you are likely well aware that coping with change can be a lengthy process for me.

It's fair to say I've exerted too much mental energy on the 'struggle' lately and I should be focusing on honing my 'embracing techniques.' It has been an enlightening exercise nonetheless. Many changes have felt like trudging through muck because the grass was green before the muck. Life was good! And when things are good, why would you want them to change?! Here comes the first 'embracing technique:  If things were good, they can be more good (grammatically correct version:  they can be better!)

Through a series of random moments, most recently driving in the car, I was reminded that change isn't complicated. However, it can easily be made complicated; something I'm no stranger to. So for the second 'embracing technique,' I give you:  celebrate the simple joys when in transition. Whether it's feeling like Peter Pan floating to Never Never Land while driving through the fog, or conquering a hill on a rainy run, I try to let the simple joy bring a smile, and let the smile bring a positive perspective. Releasing the worries--that oldie but goodie image of a sailboat floating away, the letters of my written worries bobbing up and down with the mast.

Now, sometimes it's overwhelming to manage all the worries, emotions and thoughts racing through my head during a change. Inspired by lyrics from Heathers' Forget Me Knots, 'it's alright not to feel okay, ' I've allowed myself to let the cycle of good and bad days run it's course. It's okay to have bad days. Running has definitely helped manage this cycle. Fresh air combined with a physical, thoughtless, mind-freeing activity--really, it's a win-win. 

Back to the boat metaphors...

Tides of the ocean change all the time. Boats travel across oceans. How do boats steady themselves in changing currents? An anchor! My anchors are my people, my values and my commitments, and  I've found it's much easier to embrace change when I focus on them.

Becs and Dano, thanks for the inspiration. The song from the wedding speaks the truth:

Why let your voice be tamed?

Maybe we're a little different

There's no need to be ashamed

You've got the light to fight the shadows

I'm glad I finally gathered the motivation to write.

grateful for all you anchors out there :)

We love & believe in YOU, Camp Addis!

It was a super quick trip to Ethiopia but time did not limit the ability of the Camp Addis team to fill my heart and utterly impress me with their thoughtfulness and incredible dedication to camp. The purpose of this trip was to do a criteria visit which assesses the quality and safety standards of the camp program. And this team set the bar high!

I flew in late Monday night, where I made a friend, Lual, in the airport parking lot. Neither of our hotel shuttles were anywhere to be found and neither of us had local phones, so we put our heads together to figure out a ride...and eventually we did thanks to a taxi driver who let us borrow his phone! From Tuesday to Thursday we were at the site. The camp site is about an hour (more like two with traffic) from Addis Ababa. It was an honor and such a joy to join in the sweet Camp Addis magic, pick up some new dance moves (eskesta, traditional shoulder dancing), eat my first bites of Ethiopian food, and learn 'thank you' in Amharic...amase ganulu :)

Back in Addis, the criteria team ventured out for a full Ethiopian meal including a fasting platter, a taste of tej, coffee, and espris. Tej is a honey wine and espris is a layered fruit drink with avocado, mango, guava and banana.

Right now, Haley and I are waiting in the star alliance lounge waiting to head to Istanbul. #friendswithbenefits

I'll post again soon when I'm in Turkey!

Hugs,

M

Baby duck egg adventures!

With one final weekend in Phnom Penh, I've successfully found a balance between work, relaxation and fun. Saturday morning I slept in a bit since I had seen Emma off to the airport around 4am. Then I had my favorite Villa Langka breakfast (muesli, pancakes and a croissant with mango jam). The rest of the morning I spent in front of my laptop or in the pool. I got a message from a camp colleague to go on a baby duck egg adventure at 3pm...and so off I went with Chanthy and her sister Chantha. First we went to DreamLand, a small amusement park close by. The girls experienced their first Ferris wheel ride while I experienced my first 'foreigner entrance fee' which was 6x the price! At the park we splurged on street food including baby duck eggs. There were more feathers than I remember from last year but the flavor was great! Of course, I made sure not to consume too much street food for fear my system would reject it! Once we felt like we got our money's worth, we went to an arcade for some air hockey, hot shot, and claw games. When the girls dropped me off, they came in and we had ourselves some smoothies to put off having to say goodbye. After they left it was around 8 so I took a dip in the pool and stayed in for dinner. 

This morning I started the day in similar fashion and my afternoon excursion consisted of getting a pedicure and mochi. It was the best $5 pedi ever! Pretty sure my feet and toes are as fresh as when I popped out of the womb! And the mochi, my second time ever, was delectable. Although I learned the hard way that you can't take your time to savor each bite because it IS ice cream and it DOES melt.

After finishing some more work and getting the visa that I just realized I need for Turkey, I decided on Terrazza for my final meal in Cambodia. It's an Italian spot that opened last year and since I wanted something filling, I thought why not some delicious pasta and bread! So here I sit outside (beautiful night but the bugs are attacking!) enjoying delicately pan seared eggplant. One more dip in the pool when I get back and a shower to feel refreshed before a day of flying :)

Enjoy the pics from the past couple days and before long I'll be posting from Africa!

hugs

M

Back in the Kingdom!

First off, apologies for the delay. It has been over two months since my last post and I've been traveling for about 3 weeks without blogging about it! Thanks for being patient, and as always, thanks for actually reading :)

Like all trips, I leave from home in the States, but this time I left from the west coast. I was lucky enough to go to one of my college teammate's wedding in Capitola, CA, near Santa Cruz. It was simple, elegant, relaxed and just plain fun. On top of a fabulous wedding, it was a mini team reunion--so nice to catch up and see what everyone is up to!

The morning after the wedding I hopped on a plane to Korea and landed in Phnom Penh on a Monday night. It was a quick turnaround to jump into leadership team training on Tuesday, but our team was ready to rock. With all of us SeriousFunners back together for a second year, we picked up right where we left off. Everyone was excited to be back together again and we had fun facilitating some new sessions. Of course, we kept to our routine of lunch at the Boat Noodle where we feed 10 for $20. Once again, we savored every bite of Villa Langka's breakfast and in the evenings headed to our fav food spots, sometimes sitting at the same table as last year. A new spot we tried was Dine in the Dark, a restaurant that trains people who are legally blind to work as waiters and waitresses. Unlike activities that are intentionally in the dark (haunted house, movie theater), this was a routine experience turned upside down by taking away our vision and forcing our bodies to use every other sense. The three of us could not stop giggling as we were led to our table in a conga line. Throughout the meal we would burst out with excitement whenever we identified a taste--we said bacon a lot! And we laughed at the fact that all of our mouths were probably 2 inches from our plates! We also discovered a coffee shop that has doughnuts and bacon, egg & cheese bagels...and we ate a lunch consisting of 80% French bread. Can you tell what food we miss?!

The next two weeks flew by. Some of the highlights include Emma climbing up to her treehouse bed, finding delicious pumpkin risotto, and sharing the weeks with Silvia and Saranya from Camp Rainbow Bangalore, who were on Staff exchange to learn from the Camp Lotus team. Together we marveled at the beauty of the Camp Lotus site, giggled at lunchtime mime skits and ate many-a-bowls of white rice. On the weekend we strolled through the Night Market (found angry bird pjs) and ate dosa together (a South Indian spot right around the corner!) 

The Camp Lotus team has grown so much since last year and it was very special to see them take initiative and be so confident in their roles during the camp session. Stage Night is always an incredible night, however this year at Camp Lotus, it was particularly powerful for me. After lunch that day, the energy was different--there was a constant hum that was slowly building. At dinner, I could feel the jitteryness of camper's nerves and nearly see the level of excitement rising inside of them. On stage and in the audience, they were bursting! Even campers who had been hard to contain or content to sit out of activities during the week, were so happy to be in that moment and did not want to be anywhere else! The Camp Lotus team does a phenomenal job with entertainment and evening programs, helping campers realize they are unique and THAT deserves love and praise.

More to come on this multi-part journey with Ethiopia and Turkey still to come! A cold and congestion to start the trip, and a hold on my debit card that is hopefully solved, have been the only slight hiccups. Fortunately, I am surrounded by wonderful people who help it all work out and remind me how lucky I am!

Now...off to find a baby duck egg to cap off Camp Lotus round two!

hugs

Mary